I volunteer at a farm sometimes. I don't know why, but I think it is something to do with being a man. In all other ways, I am not a man. I don't hunt, I don't go to war, I don't gather food for the family ( the most I do, is sometimes go to the supermarket and pick up some food items and grunt at the packet in a threatening tone). I stopped being a man at an early age and now float in a somewhat ambiguous genderless world. Depending on the situation I switch between a weak man and a very young girl.
When I get tired of these roles, I decide to go to the farm and act like a real man. Luckily for me, my friend, John, who owns the farm is a real man. He can climb trees, remove the husk of a coconut, light the gas stove, cut vegetables, make tea, dig ditches etc. I usually watch with admiration and at appropriate moments clap my hands. I like to watch other men doing such stuff. It is so inspiring.
If for some reason I am stuck in a Five Star jungle resort, I would like to be with a man like John.
His farm has many cottages for guests like me. It is pretty primitive and does not have hot and cold shower valves. It does not have any electricity, though John's hut has. It remains a mystery why the huts do not have any electricity. But the farm makes up for these shortages by having an abundance of mosquitoes and other things, some of which crawl, and some which are just too lazy to crawl. I have classified them all under a broad heading called 'bugs'.
I have been told and usually in a very solemn and hushed tones that they are important for farm ecology. I believe them but as much as possible avoid them. I do not want to disturb the ecology.
Many people volunteer at the farm. It is a good farm for volunteering. John is a gracious and patient host. Patience is a basic requirement for a farmer. Patience and money. Between them, money is more important. With money in the bank, the presence of aphids and other such bugs (these are not important for farm ecology) can be viewed with more equanimity. Without money in the bank it is difficult to love them and treat them as another of God's creatures.
It is a very strenuous life. You have to get up anywhere between 6 AM and 10 AM. I usually get up early, around 6 AM. I then proceed to take a walk in the farm to check and make sure everything is as it should be. I make sure the trees are where they were the previous night. The plants below the size of a big tree is beyond me and I assume they are all OK. As I walk in the vegetable garden, which is a such a pleasant experience, I hope to see a big tomato or a big pumpkin which miraculously grew in the night. This hasn't happened till now but who knows. They must be doing something in the night.
The farm provides organic toilet facilities. The thinking here is that human waste is organic (or at least it used to be) and eventually mixed with few tons of leaves and grass and a couple of centuries become what is known as compost. Such compost is supposed to be good for plants. We have decided that, though we haven't really asked the plants what they think. Some people who did not have access to proper western toilets in the early part of the previous century decided that it is good.
Post all these mundane rituals and when everyone is awake and had their breakfast, we get to work. I use the word 'we' loosely since usually others get to work. I have taken on the role of the motivator. I motivate, while they toil. Someone has to do it. What would life be without motivation? It is not easy but it is the cross I bear.
Couple of hours of highly motivated field work and it is time for lunch. The cooking is pretty communal and everybody contributes. This will give you an idea about the quality of food. If it doesn't, remember the old adage 'Too many cooks spoil the broth'. If it still doesn't, ask somebody to explain it to you.
We usually partake the spoiled broth in silence. It is difficult to swallow and speak at the same time, lest you throw up. Just joking. The food is delicious and the hours of toiling (and in my case, motivating) gives you a fantastic appetite.
After lunch, we rest for some time. I rest for a long time. Just watching others work in the farm makes me tired. I snooze anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour. I wake up, fully refreshed and ready to continue my motivational work. Other volunteers are already in the filed working but not to their full capacity. It is evident they have been missing my motivational talk. My presence has restored order and work starts in full swing.
We break for tea around 4 PM and work for another hour. Then it is time for cold water baths. We again congregate at John's hut and spend some time getting our core temperatures back. Dinner is made and then we spend some time sharing our experiences. It has been a wonderful day and I retire to bed feeling like a real man.
Tomorrow is another day. The sun will rise and shine brightly. The farm will share its mysteries a little more. May be we will harvest. Nothing beats the experience of eating the food that we have plucked from the land. John will teach us a bit more. Eventually in a couple of years I will have enough knowledge to become a farmer.
Till then, I shall grunt at the foodstuffs in the supermarket counter.
I highly recommend spending some time at a farm. You can contact John on 973909712345 to feel like a man. The number remains the same for women.